What Feminism is Not
I wouldn’t call myself a feminist just yet. For the moment, I am dancing in that line between feminism and whatever its opposite is, a line I have affectionately termed ‘contemplating feminism.’ It is important to note, however, that even though I do not call myself a feminist, I am not unwilling to be associated with it, which is why you are reading this article at the moment.
Seeing as this is the case, I am not an authority on the subject matter, just very curious and observant.
A lot of people, as I have found, do not like to acknowledge or regard feminism — as with most things in this part of the world. It is as if by ignoring the existence of feminism, we believe that it will cease to exist. When they do acknowledge that it exists, it is in mockery of the women who stand in support of it, so it is not unusual to hear comments like this:
“Ha, that one, I pity her. She will not find a man to marry with the way she is carrying on.”
“Hmm! This girl does not know anything. Who does she want to drag (leadership) with in her husband’s house?”
“Feminism, feminism, feminism. Just look at Chimamanda (Adichie). Is she not married with a daughter? Let her be deceiving you there.” Etc-etc.
Consequently, people like this approach feminism as a misguided activism, something the women who desire to get married someday will get over when they realize how little time is on their side, as if feminism was something you actually got over. You will hear comments that insinuate how much of a joke the movement is, discouraging people who want to take a stance against the gender imbalance that is obtainable in the world today.
What makes it worse (and I am tempted to say ‘worster’) is when supposed feminists renounce feminism because they have had life-changing encounters with the truth and have realized how destructive feminist beliefs are. In almost all those cases, said ex-feminists never actually studied feminism.
See, I believe there is a huge difference between a claim to something and actual action/participation, something so-called feminists will do better to learn now. Saying you are a feminist does not actually make you one; there’s more to the movement than a label — which is a separate post on its own.
More than being a momentary irritation at the way you are treated one time, feminism is consistent in its pursuit for equal opportunities. Thus it is important to realize that becoming the voice of a movement off one speech isn’t enough, there is a need for constant education on the subject matter, at least to inform personal conviction and understanding of the movement.
Call yourself feminist all you want, if you do not know more than what the media or other supposed feminists say feminism is, you cannot really call yourself a feminist.
Having laid all that out, I have noticed a rather saddening trend with people (deliberately in my opinion) misunderstanding what feminism is and isn’t. You probably know one or more people like this. Patterns like this alarms and angers me, makes me tired of the way something so purposeful is reduced to emotions and/or misdirection. Look, feminism is more!
Understandably, a lot of our misconception about this movement stems from how we were taught to approach male-female dynamics, but it is precisely because of this faulty dynamic that we should inquire into, rather than criticize feminism. This inquiry, of course, does not necessitate support for the movement but in the least you will get it.
Sadly, the people who should be reading articles like this may never take an interest in it. Regardless, I think it necessary to write this and clarify (for those in doubt) that feminism is not these things:
1. Feminism is not a refusal to wear bra
Can I get an amen?
Do you know how functional those things are? So if you insist feminism is founded on a rebellion towards wearing bra, you will be doing women a lot of disservice.
I thought I should clarify that in case you are in doubt. Those boobs won’t hold themselves up, you know.
2. Feminism is not trifling anger
If I could become a rich woman just by how much feminism was misunderstood for trifling anger, I should certainly be a homeowner today. Not those bungalows without fences or paint that people build to secure a land, I’m talking proper duplex in an upscale part of town.
People, FEMINISM IS NOT ANGER!!!
Okay, I take that back to some extent. It is anger. Just not anger in the way we speak of a child’s tantrum when he does not have his way. Feminism is anger, but not a misplaced one.
Feminism is anger because of continued sexual assault suffered by women; it is anger because of rape, injustice, unequal opportunities, and a constantly threatened safety at the sight of men. The question then is not if feminism is necessary but what it exists to protect and the role we each should play in making that possible.
The day a woman can walk into a party and be sure no man will abuse her while she’s passed out; the day a woman can walk the streets at night without having to look over her shoulders a dozen times; the day women are regarded in the same light that men are (in private and public spaces), maybe then we can start to talk less about the need for feminism.
3. Feminism is not man-hating
Ask any anti-feminist what they think about feminists (I’ll make a concession for certain people) and you can be sure to hear something about feminism being against the male folks.
I can only respond in Nigerian parlance, “Han-han! Is nor da hard o.”
This point has been so central to the antagonism aimed at feminism and it does not fail to amuse me how lots of anti-feminists use it as a point to discredit feminism; just like it does not fail to amuse me how little an object of opposition is usually understood by the people who oppose it.
For instance, how many Nigerians who opposed the recent processing fee on cash withdrawals really understood what it was about before lambasting the Nigerian government for being greedy? The moment that news was released, I heard the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) had placed a charge on all withdrawal, only to find out it was on a certain amount of money, a decision which was prompted by the government’s move to promote a cashless society. Misinterpretations like this are not lost on feminism, which is the reason anyone would conclude feminism is about women hating men.
It is not enough to know that a thing exists and decide to choose sides, to bring in valid oppositions or even intelligent assent, we ought to question until we attain clarity.
4. Feminism is not a dislike for romance or marital union
People, feminists are not opposed to romance.
The need for companionship, a love that accepts one completely with their flaws, is not something feminists are opposed to, which is why you will find married feminists.
Feminism is advocacy, the promotion and endorsement of women’s rights which includes the right to vote and be voted for; the right for equal pay; and the right to be heard among other human rights. Nothing about this mentions a dislike for men or marital union. And I get it. I get that some women have burnt bras, damned romance, and made certain to let the world know that they are better off without men, but feminism was not created to oppose men or romance. (Click this link for more feminist myths)
Feminists have feelings just like other women, and they are perfectly non-contradictory when they promote women’s rights while also falling crazily in love with the man of their dreams.
Feminism is not a refusal to acknowledge the presence of emotions and if we would truly understand it, we cannot keep approaching it as something that is separate from a very natural part of our human existence.
There is only so much I can say in this article so I’ll direct you to another site here with some of what I have not said. If by any chance you feel wary of or threatened by feminism, please understand that feminism is not only defined by the things it stands against.
Just as feminism is a movement against gender injustice, it is a movement for the establishment of equality and more. There is much more to learn about feminism than the snide comments you hear when people mock the movement, just as there is more substance to it than one woman’s displeasure when the men around her are not being ‘gentlemanly’.
Feminism concerns you, me, our daughters and our sons. In pushing for a society of equals, we empower the next generation to reach their fullest potentials. Imagine all the inventions that would not be in existence today if every woman was relegated to the kitchen?
It is not enough for women to be a part of the society, they have to participate in it, which is some of the reason behind feminism. Women have ruled nations, conquered wars on behalf of nations, invented the basis for the cure of life-threatening illnesses, and made contributions only they could have made because of their unique perspectives as women; none of which will be in existence if women did not think advocating for women’s right (and societal contributions) would be worth it.
Feminism matters.
As it stands, I have said enough for one article, but I cannot end without leaving a quote that gives a little bit of context to feminism. This one is by a very vocal feminist by name, Gloria Steinem.
“Each of us has only one thing to gain from the feminist movement: our whole humanity.”
