Waiting on a Dream
I have heard that waiting builds character. Really, does it?
Yesterday, I was taking stock of my life and discovered that virtually everything I have desired deeply: relationships, travel and career opportunities — you name it — have been things I waited years for. My memory might be a little foggy because of time, but I have tried to remember something I didn’t wait for. I don’t remember any.
You would think that would make me patient, but that’s not the case. In fact, I am one of the most impatient people I know.
The problem with impatience is, it’s not a virtue anywhere, at least it’s not a celebrated virtue. So when we wait, whether it’s in line for a bus or a friend, or when we wait for a response from someone else, there is an unspoken expectation that we do so in good spirits. Here’s the thing though, waiting is H-A-R-D! As someone who’s spent a better part of the last decade waiting, I can attest that waiting is excruciating. And I don’t understand it.
It is with that in mind, therefore, that I share my lesson with you on the subject. It’s not going to be what you want to hear, but it is what it is.
Sometimes, we would never know why we wait.
I think this is even truer in the case of people who struggle for years to have kids — if you know why, I am open to hearing your thought. I’m like, why? Mentally these people are ready to be parents, financially too. Yet, they have to deal with dashed hopes every year, spending money and hope on a desire they cannot be too sure will materialize.
When someone’s incompetence or dismissiveness is at the root of your wait, you can work with that because you know whom to direct your displeasure to. But when you have no control over the circumstance, there is a heavy feeling of helplessness that multiplies the pain of the wait like salt to an open wound.
You wrestle with unanswered questions, thinking about all the ways things can (and in fact, should) be better. It’s so bad you spend some days wondering if your wait is because you are not good enough to have what you desire. See, I don’t have all the answers, but I think I am fairly certain that it has nothing to do with what you do or do not deserve.
I did not intend this to be a post about how to wait; don’t be too disappointed if you didn’t get such tips.
My role is to assure you that you are not alone in the wait. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a child, a job, love, your dream house/car/whatever it is, I am waiting with you, just like million others across the globe are.
Be assured, even if your desires take forever — which I hope to God that they don’t — they are valid, and as long as you continue to hold on to them, they will come true.
