Stop Disqualifying Yourself
Minutes ago, I submitted an application I’d been stalling on because I’d told myself that I was unqualified to put one in.
For a while, I stalked people who were getting the opportunity and would always identify a reason they were more suited for it than I was. To me these people were more intelligent, put together, and connected than me. But after putting in my application, I realize how unnecessary my self-doubt was; that, in fact, I share more similarities with those people than I recognize. That epiphany inspired this article.
Like me, you’ve likely talked yourself out of certain opportunities because you felt unqualified for them. You’ve likely laid out seemingly justifiably reasons as to why you were not the one ‘they’ were looking for. Who said so? I mean, I get that the organization or competition put up all these preconditions you must meet before you apply, but who says you can’t shoot your shot if you meet a good deal — but not all — of their specification?
Ladies, I’m directing this specifically to you because we—far more than men — don’t apply for opportunities until we have met all the requirements. Whereas men would apply if they believe they have met 60% of the same requirements.
I understand you don't want to waste anyone’s time after they’ve made it clear what they want. However, it’s been my observation that as women we often understate our capabilities. It’s like we’re too scared to disappoint, so we deliberately lower people’s expectations of us to either massage egos or so that if we do disappoint, the fallout is not too bad. But why should it be?
I’m learning through the recent events in my life to own my strengths, and I’m sharing this with you because I hope you own your strengths too, without any apology. Don't downplay your awesomeness.
Stop disqualifying yourself prematurely; give yourself a chance to get what you want by at least showing up for it/them. Matter of fact, you can never know what your chances are until you show up!
If you don’t put in an application for that job/competition, there’s no way you can get shortlisted. And who knows, your entry — unremarkable to you— might be a refreshing contrast from the sameness of other entries. But of course, you can never know if you keep telling yourself that what you have to submit is not good enough.
I believe the problem a lot of times is that we get too familiar with our awesomeness. When that is mixed with a habit of constant comparison, we would never be good enough in our own eyes.
All this rambling to say, stop holding yourself back from the things you want. Give yourself a winning chance by showing up! When you do, you might not win, but you would at least learn what to do better next time. That and you might form new relationships with people you might never have met otherwise.
