God’s in Control. He’s Not Controlling
A lesson on freewill.
I was scrolling my merry way through a bunch of Instagram posts when I came across one that caught my attention. It was that of a relationship anxiety coach with the title ‘Here’s one thing God told me what I was trying to find my spouse: “I will never make a decision for you.”’ I scrolled to the caption and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw this, “God is in control but… he’s not controlling.” Because with those words, she articulated something I’d been percolating on for a while.
A few days before that, I had posted on my WhatsApp status — for the record, I am one of those annoyingly stringy WhatsApp status people — after a conversation that left me questioning Christian’s understanding of God’s will. In this conversation, I’d mentioned my desire for something, and my partner responded with “Let God’s will be done”. Ordinarily, I would take such response in stride, but their tone suggested that I was desiring more for myself than God could possibly want for me. Sensing this, I felt my insides turn in irritation. Soon enough though, my irritation gave way to empathy because I knew they were one of many Christians guilty of misconstruing God’s will for a lesson in divine humility. That in turn led me to sermonize about the nature of God’s will.
The nature of God’s will
Growing up in the church, I heard a lot of “wait on the Lord,” à la Psalm 27:14, and I, as with most Christians I know, took it to mean that we were to wait on God’s intervention and nothing else. You will see variations of this in different theologies, like the theology that disregards medical intervention because of the belief that God will intervene if He chooses to. Because there are bible verses to back these beliefs (KJV* alludes to ‘wait’ 106 times and even Jesus had to wait 30 years before starting his ministry), and because of how open to interpretation the bible is, it’s hard not to wonder what God’s perfect will is. Do we honor him best by waiting or by exercising our intellect to do what we know needs doing?
Last year, I had an epiphany. After wasting nine years writing love letters to my one-day significant other, I suddenly realized the futility of my missives. I was particularly struck with the realization that I had waited away my most adventurous single years on someone I never ‘eventually’ met. As I spent time in reflection, I started to see how much of my freewill I sacrificed on the altar of waiting, and I realized how much of a disservice I had done to myself by waiting.
Indeed, the bible instructs us to “wait on the Lord”, but it also details the beginning of humanity’s existence, which unraveled as a result of freewill. Although the bible does not explicitly mention ‘freewill’, it is inferred. Thus, waiting and freewill deserve equal consideration when assessing God's perfect will.
It has been my observation, however, that a good number of Christians stop at using freewill to explain the problem of evil, which is insufficient because freewill explains so much more.
Freewill and the problem of evil
While freewill does explain why there’s so much evil in the world, it is not a robust enough argument for the presence of evil. For instance, freewill does not explain why evil people get away with their evil, or why babies are born with disability despite their mother’s care during pregnancy. Using freewill as a blanket argument for why evil exists ignores its multidimensional nature. It assumes that we can have neat answers for the presence of evil when in reality, the reason might remain unknown to us!
Freewill as the definitive argument for evil ignores its role in other equally significant aspects of the human experience. This argument ignores the good we can do in the world because of our freewill; perhaps notably, it ignores how much agency we each have to design our lives the way we want.
This, I believe, is where Christians tend to shortchange ourselves, which brings me back to the conversation I had about God’s will.
The nature of God’s will (II)
I get the sense that a bunch of Christians think of God’s will as something they have to wrestle with; that, in fact, God often doesn't want what we want for ourselves. As such, the more ambitious our desires, the less God wants them for us.
I have never heard a Christian refer to God’s will as becoming a CEO, the richest person alive, or acquiring a multinational. God’s will has however been referred to as modest pursuits. God wanting them to give up the comforts they are used to for life in some rural area. God wanting them to marry someone they are not attracted to, etc. Much as these can be God’s will, I fear that we have standardized them as the only template for God’s will.
We have given God’s will the label of hard (consciously or not), believing it to be his will only if it opposes what we want for ourselves. The harder it is to accept, we think, the better! And we carry on like his will can only be in the sacrifice of our desires, as if God is intent on purging us of the things that make us human (like ambition, desire, and vanity) to qualify us for heaven.
What if God isn’t trying to purge us of our humanness to make us more like him?
What if his will is present in the desires we hold for ourselves and our future?
What if his will can be expressed in our freewill?
3 scriptures
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, [how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him]. — Matthew 7:11 (NLT)*
Since [he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us] all, [won’t he also give us everything else]? — Romans 8:32 (NLT)*
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; [He withholds no good thing] from those who walk with integrity. — Psalm 84:11 (NASB)*
I have enclosed key phrases in parentheses for emphasis, and I have highlighted these verses because the conversation I had sent me to the bible for evidence of God's generosity. Different theologies can interpret them in various ways, but all I see is a God who is willing to honor my desires. If it follows then, why are we so scared of his will? Why do we equate it with everything but the very thing(s) we want?
And why do we think his will has to override our freewill?
A word of encouragement
I argue that if we want it and it is good, God will honor our desires if we ask for (and, importantly, go after) them. I’d also like to suggest that we stop using freewill as a crutch, a hiding place for our fear and small-mindedness.
If you miss out on an opportunity, whether because it was too competitive or you were unqualified, be truthful about the facts. But for the love of God, stop explaining it away as God’s will. Similarly, if you’re too scared to go after the person or positions you want, admit it to yourself. Just don't explain your cowardice as God’s will.
God wants good for you. It might not look like it with the constant rejections you’re facing at the moment, but even in that, he wants good for you. If you want to become rich, he wants that for you. If you want to be married to the love of your life, he wants that for you. If you want to travel the world and wake up in a new city every morning, he wants that for you too.
But take note, he will give to you because he wants to give through you.
I doubt he wants his blessings to be squandered on selfish pursuits. Even then, you have freewill to decide how you choose to use his blessings.
My point? You can design the life you want. It is God’s will for you.
If you’d like to do some additional reading on the theme of God’s generosity, do check out James 1:17, Ephesians 3:20, Psalm 34:10, Psalm 85:12.
KJV: King James Version
NLT: New Living Translation
NASB: New American Standard Bible
